Last month, an Erie Country police officer spotted a speeding driver around 2 a.m. After stopping the vehicle, the officer noticed that the only occupant had crawled into the back seat and, when questioned, claimed he hadn't been driving. As you may have guessed, the driver was clearly intoxicated.

After some humorous back-and-forth banter, the officer came to the obvious conclusion that the 38-year-old was indeed the driver. He was charged with DUI and hauled away to jail.

Here's a tip: The "I wasn't driving" defense doesn't work with only one person in the vehicle.

Here's how it works: By increasing tire pressure, clearing trunk space, reducing idle time and keeping your pedal off the medal, you increase your eco-rating.

The first time I played, I scored a big fat zero. My second go-around, though, I tallied a whopping 28,596! The secret? Don't exceed 24 miles per hour on the freeway, and avoid accidents (obviously).

It's not quite Need for Speed 3, but it's entertaining nevertheless. Give it a try at EcoDrivingUSA.com.

Every November 2nd, the world celebrates Plan Your Epitaph Day. The premise? A forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death.

A few memorable epitaphs:

• "I told you I was sick!" - Gravestone in a Georgia cemetary

• "That's all, folks!" - Mel Blanc, voice of Porky Pig

• "Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange" -Sir John Strange, a lawyer

• "...Curst be he that moves my bones" - William Shakespeare

Plan Your Epitaph Day coincides with the Latin American holiday honoring the dead--Día de los Muertos or "Day of the Dead."

With so much mortality in the air, you may want to get a term life insurance policy just to be safe. It'll protect your loved ones if you drop dead while choking on a piece of old Halloween candy, too.

To keep from having your bank account bled dry, you'll need a hefty amount of home liability insurance, and probably a good lawyer. Same goes if your Doberman mistakes a kid's skeleton costume for a life-sized chew toy.

The moral of the story? Sugar-buzzed kids, darkness and full-body costumes don't mix. Give kids an excuse to roam around in the dead of night with their faces concealed and trouble is bound to happen.

But liability lawsuits aren't the only concern. For instance, let's say an unruly group of little devils decides to smash a dozen or so rotten pumpkins all over your vehicle. Are you covered? If your auto insurance doesn't include comprehensive coverage, which covers vandalism, tough luck--you're on your own.

If you turn away trick-or-treaters and they respond by trashing your house (like the Halloween episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry refuses candy to a couple of teenagers because they aren't in costume) it would be considered vandalism and home insurance will cover the damages. If the kids take things a step further and start a bonfire on your lawn, you're still covered.

So we've covered auto and home insurance, but how could we forget about life insurance on Halloween? You never know--if a really scary costume gives you a heart attack and you drop dead, won't you need life insurance for your loved ones? And every Halloween I watch Night of the Living Dead (the original, not the lame remake), and it always scares me half to death. Could this be the year it scares me all the way to death?

If your insurance policies are lacking, crank up your coverage.....before it's too late.

I appreciate his passion for literature, but has he ever heard of books on tape?

We already know that talking on a hand-held cell phone increases a driver's crash risk by 1.3 times, and that those who text while driving are 23 times more likely to be involved in an accident as other drivers. But reading while driving? That danger level has gotta be off the charts.

Read more about numbskull drivers and distracted driving habits here.

The Viper SmartStart can be used from virtually anywhere iPhone service is available.

Mike Simmons, CEO of Directed Electronics, gave a demonstration by starting a car in California using his iPhone in Kansas City.

Viper SmartStart comes with a remote start feature that works on any vehicle with power windows and locks. It does not require an existing remote start feature. It is on sale at Best Buy for $499.

Whatever happened to car keys?

Police first stopped the 47-year-old driver as he sped past an unmarked police vehicle at 100 miles per hour.

In addition to speeding and other violations, the man drove dangerously close to other vehicles, sped through a construction zone and evaded police as they attempted to stop the vehicle. Worst of all, it all took place during a violent rainstorm.

Police seized the man's driver's license and ordered him to be tested for medications and illegal drugs.

With 15 traffic tickets on his driving record and a possible DWI still looming, maybe it's time Speed Racer picked up a bus schedule.

Apparently classic school lunch fair—tater tots, fish sticks, Sloppy Joes and the like—are not helping kids stay fit and trim.

This is just the latest attempt by many national and state organizations to improve the quality of the food and beverages kids have access to at school. Many school districts have already banished sodas and other "energy" drinks from campuses, as well as nutritional classics such as Ho Hos and Ding Dongs.

Apparently long gone are the days when a corn dog and a Coke fit into the USDA pyramind...

Read more about the Institute of Medicine's report here.

• "They didn't have time to test the vaccine before they released it."

• "Only pregnant women, kids and health care workers need the vaccine."

• "The seasonal flu shot protects against swine flu, too."

Not only are these myths dead wrong, they're misleading and potentially fatal for those who don't get vaccinated, especially children.

Nearly 1,000 Americans have died from the virus since April, including 76 children. And the fact that we're only in October, the beginning of flu season, doesn't bode well for the chilly months ahead.

Anne Schuchat, director of the Center for Disease Control's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, said of the swine flu: 'Unfortunately we are seeing more illness, more hospitalizations, and more deaths."

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says the H1N1 swine flu vaccine is perfectly safe, and urges Americans to get both the H1N1 and seasonal flu vaccines. In fact, new research shows that injections for both seasonal flu and H1N1 swine flu can be given at the same time.

Here are the facts:

• The H1N1 swine flu vaccine is safe. It has been licensed by the Food and Drug Administration, and is manufactured in the same way as the seasonal flu virus, which has been the standard for more than 60 years.

• The swine flu vaccine has been extensively tested. It has been tested on thousands of volunteers and has been proven to protect against the H1N1 virus and cause no adverse reactions.

• The nasal spray version of the vaccine is safe. It uses technology that has been used safely in flu vaccines for 30 years, including the seasonal flu vaccine FluMist.

• The seasonal flu vaccine does not protect against H1N1 swine flu. The H1N1 flu vaccine is a separate vaccine.

Unless you're Paris Hilton, you already know that you can't get swine flu from eating pork. But if you're concerned about your health, you need to get the facts. WebMD's H1N1 Swine Flu Center is a great place to start.

While crossing a street, the couple was struck by a passing motorist. The couple was taken to a hospital for minor injuries and were still recovering when their son discovered that their vehicle had been stolen from their home.

On the bright side, the couple got the car back. When the car was stopped in Cleveland, two teenage occupants were arrested and charged with receiving stolen property.

Here's hoping they had a hefty amount of auto and health insurance.

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Piqued your interest? Check out Dangerous bacteria may lurk in showerheads over at the Chicago Tribune.

Three of the wives are newlyweds; one has been his wife for 12 years.

Milton Mbhele, the 44-year-old groom, said the joint marriage ceremony was carried out to reduce wedding expenses. South African law recognizes polygamous marriages; even the president has multiple wives.

After the honeymoon is over--and once he finally memorizes the names of his in-laws--he'll get around to thinking about life insurance. And he'll need plenty of it.

With a dozen or so kids, four wives, a massive home (I'm guessing) and a fleet of vehicles to haul the entire family around, his financial obligations are through the roof. I won't speculate on his financial status, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say he needs a hefty life insurance policy.

Let's consider his expenses. First up: the cost of four wives. If Mr. Mbhele were to die from, oh I don't know, stress, exhaustion or a mix of both, who would foot the bill for his four lovely brides? Mortgage costs, household expenses, groceries, clothing, automobile costs, health care--it's a lot to take in. If his income were lost, they'd be on their own to maintain the household financially and support the kids.

Speaking of the 11 children, how much would they cost? Diapers, food, clothing, education, health care--kids are expensive! And once they get older, they'll want to go to college. I don't know what the cost of college would be for a dozen or so children in South Africa, but it costs a heck of a lot here in the U.S. And if he has more children (another dozen, perhaps?), his life insurance needs would continue to rise.

So, keeping all this in mind, how much life insurance does Mr. Mbhele need? I'd have to send away to NASA to get the final calculations (they have better computers than we do), but my rough estimate is that he will need a policy worth seven or eight figures in U.S. dollars, and probably a billion or two in South African rand. Yikes.